Notes on Couples Therapy When Considering Divorce

 As a therapist specializing in couples therapy, I have seen more couples than I'd like who choose to get counseling only after one of them has taken a serious step toward ending the marriage. However, even at this late stage, I've seen couples reassess their relationship, with the help of a qualified therapist, and shift in one of two directions: they either decide to stay together and work on their relationship, or they find that with counseling, they are able to create what I call a "good divorce." Often, regardless of what you call it, counseling helps a couple decide whether to stay married or not, and helps them move through the stages of divorce if that is their decision.


Family Life Continues Even After a Divorce


If children are involved, it's likely that both of you will continue to have some kind of relationship throughout your lives, as you both relate to your growing (and grown) children and their needs. How you handle this pivotal time will set the tone for how each of you is able to move into the next part of your life. It will also leave an indelible mark parcoaching on how your children perceive endings of relationships. While we as humans are by definition resilient, we carry with us the unresolved hurts of our past. Hurts don't ruin our lives by themselves, and when we learn how to resolve our hurts well, we actually grow tremendously from them. But unresolved hurts stay with us, often hidden in the recesses of our memories, and come out years later when another crisis triggers an older hurt. It's always beneficial to work it through now.


Is Your Relationship As Important to You as Your Car?


Another trend I've seen over the years is that women are typically more open to couples therapy in the earlier stages of distress, and men more open when it looks like it's really over. Men, you might say you value your wife over your car, but think about how much energy you put into the maintenance of oil changes, tires and transmissions. Too often I've seen people think of the need for counseling as an indictment of weakness or worse: something is "wrong with me." But do you think there's something wrong with your car when it needs an oil change? How about this: how well would your car be running if you felt as resistant to getting your oil changed as you might be about couples therapy?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Vietnamese Spring Rolls Recipe (Goi Cuon)

 This Goi Cuon recipe or Traditional Vietnamese Spring Roll recipe took a lot longer than I expected, but I learned a lot during making the rolls. These healthy rolls are full of fresh vegetables and lean meat, so eat up! Made from just rice and water, the neutral banh trang (rice paper) could be easily used in a variety of ways. At one Vietnamese market, I found no less than five brands of banh trang (rice paper) with multi-lingual packaging: Vietnamese, Chinese, English, and French. Banh trang gets around. Cambodians have a similar roll also using the same rice paper called nime chow--made without meat and dipped in a  banh mi thit  vinegar based sauce instead of hoisin. The Chinese have a version with duck and cucumber with a hoisin based dipping sauce. Japanese restaurants are also commonly using regular and dyed versions of rice paper for rolls too. For the meat you can really use any cut of pork you wish, but leaner works better. The shrimp can also be any size but ...
Read more

SEX IN MARRIAGE & SATANISM

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and Over the years that I have been talking to women of all classes ranging from the wives of government functionaries to Christian leaders, I have come to realise that infidelity Sexmarkt is no more limited to men but also as common with married women. On several occasions I have met women who share their ordeal with me in terms of sex starvation by their husbands and those who have not been able have sex without pain though their husbands have been cooperative. I have been asked for advice in a forum on an illegitimate child that a married woman had and the husband was under the impression that the child was his. I have heard men of God that are not satisfied with their marital sex life. There are people who have jointly sought medical help but without success but with deliverance ministration, the situation changed. I have observed with pain that many speakers and writers ...
Read more

The Art of Plumbing: London's Commercial Maestros

  In the intricate world of commercial plumbing, where the harmony of a business relies on the flawless performance of its plumbing systems, one group of professionals rises above the rest. They are not just plumbers; they are maestros in the art of plumbing. In this article, we delve into the realm of London's commercial plumbing, shedding light on the true artists who orchestrate the plumbing symphonies that keep businesses thriving. Unveiling the Plumbing Maestros The term "Plumbing Maestros" may seem poetic, but it encapsulates a league of highly skilled and passionate commercial plumbers london who have elevated their craft to an art form. These individuals have honed their skills through years of experience, tackling the most intricate plumbing challenges with finesse. The Symphony of Experience One of the distinguishing features of the Plumbing Maestros is their extensive experience. With decades of collective experience, they have encountered and conquered a mult...
Read more